"'It was a great evening,' said Thomas.
'I'm glad to hear it,' said Jesus.
Then they were silent for a while. Downstairs, Louis Armstrong played his trumpet.
'Jesus?' asked Thomas.
'Yes, Thomas?'
'Can you help Papa?'
'I am afraid not.'
It was a pity, but Thomas understood that some people are hard to redeem. You couldn't ask the Lord Jesus for the impossible.
'Do you think Eliza will wait for me?'
'I would think so.' said Jesus.
'Is it scary when she takes her leather leg off?'
'Of course not,' said Jesus. 'You've faced worse things.'
That was true. In his young life, he had already seen quite a few scary things. A bottombiter, Granddad's artificial teeth, a wooden spoon, a swollen nose, a carving knife, and a woman with outboard teeth. And even so, he was going to be happy later.
'Because I am going to marry her, you see,' said Thomas.
The Lord Jesus put a hand on his head and said, 'You have my blessing.'
Then Thomas fell asleep and Jesus ascended to heaven.
The angels were waiting for him anxiously, heaving deep sighs.
'How are things with Thomas?' one of them asked.
'Yes, how is he?' at least a hundred others asked him in unison. They were all hopelessly in love with him, you know.
'He will be alright,' said Jesus.
'Are You going to call him to You soon?' asked a pitch-black angel. 'I would so much like to play trumpet for him.'
'No,' said the Lord Jesus. He smiled. 'Anyway, none of you would have the slightest chance with Thomas.'
'Why not?' the angels asked, appalled.
'None of you has a leather leg that creaks when you walk,' he said.
That was too much for them. Every single one of them was extraordinarily beautiful, but none had a leather leg. You can't have everything."
--from the end of The Book of Everything by Guus Kuijer
Sunset Rubdown - 'Shut Up I am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings'
This track is from the wondrous Daytrotter archives. In travelling between shows, bands happen across Daytrotter's Rock Island, Illinois stuidios, and they leave behind gems like this in their wake. Rubdown is itself one of many side projects that includes the oft-mentioned Spencer Krug, who is better known for his singer/songwriter/keyboardist role in Wolf Parade. Their sound makes me stop and listen. Makes me want to cherish the leather legs of my lovers.
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